Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Broken Marriages, Broken Homes

I went running with Daughter A this morning (she, on her dump-drawn bicycle--instilling frugality where I can). At one point she went on about the husband she was going to marry, how he was going to be a woodworker so he wouldn't have to leave the house to go to work.

And I got to thinking about single-mother parenting (and, yes, I am focusing on single MOTHER because the corollary is relatively rare). Might as well apply it to lesbian parenting as well (ditto the corollary). Without a man in the home, how does a daughter model her opinions/impressions of males? From the thoughts of the available matriarchs (who, more likely than not, made bad choices or eschew men generally)? From their adolescent colleagues (who, by their nature, are nasty, immature, brutish, and probably a bit slow)?

BTW, I am not saying that I am a perfect role model (indeed, I hold forth that reacting/rebelling against role models is a valid response), but the set-up in my household provides stabilty and predictability (both financial and emotional).

Yes, I am a cold-hearted batarde, bearing small sympathy toward unwed mothers (and a lower opinion still of the offending "father of my baby" types). Bad choices for all. In fact, I almost think it is selfish (rather than the oft-cited "selfless" moniker); why? It dooms both parent and child (childhood obesity being one other obvious dooming, but that is not today's topic).

Would it be better to place the child in a stable, two-parent adoptive home? Maybe. I don't know, really. Probably. Especially given that MOST unwed mothers are not the affluent power-moms portrayed in the media.

[ed. note: How nice for you.]

(WARNING: Tangent ahead.) Geo Washington, Ben Franklin: two men who "created" personas then spent their lives living up to their created ideals. So unlike today, where young men are more like Popey ("I yam what I yam"), content grubbify their bodies with ink + dirt, their minds with games + smut, their lives with D-rwin knows what... [ed. note: Yes, yes: believe me I am no angel, but I do know how to wash, chop wood, change my own oil, run a 10k, rebalance my 401k, bake a cake, and much, much more.]

The degeneration of girls, ugly as it is, is at least slower than the headlong rush to meaningless that describes the descent of boys.

I have no idea where today's rant was going. Just a lament in response to my eldest's simple fantasy of a woodworking husband...

[ed. note: one of the things that makes me nervous is that I really am a "put your money where your mouth is" kinda guy, and the idea of, e.g., foster parenting is calling more strongly--I don't really WANT to take on a foster child (or any other adoptee), but the pull is beginning to reach the level of "duty," and that could present a dilemma.]

Non-sequitur: been seing a lot of newsstories regarding children dying after being left in hot cars (various angles, to include racism in the justice system). I also saw an article regarding how "a simple sensor" could help prevent such deaths. My cynical side implicates the auto lobby (or, more accurately, auto PARTS lobby), angling for increased sales.

Non-sequitur the second: state gummint officials are contemplating state aid for homeowners facing foreclosure: WHAT?! Once again, rewards to the grasshoppers, burden to the ants. The state wants to make it more difficult for me to pay MY mortgage to subsidize those who chose "too good to be true" mortgage terms. Un. Be. LIEV-able. Also, one of the reasons I predict that I will be forced to support Social Security into perpetuity, but never benefit from the program. "Provide, provide!"

I had something else to whine about, but I forgot what it was.

BTW: my theory is that this blog represents a form of catharsis: you, dear reader, are exposed to my vitriol in order that my family see only my bright-and-shiny side. Doesn't always work out, but the children seem happy with what they get.

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