Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Ubi all the Hippies?

What has happened in the world that I am "the conservative?" Not only is there very little in my past that would indicate a concern for social mores and moral continence (trust me on this one), but I am an outright:
earth-shoe wearin',
breast-feedin' (well, supporter anyway),
organic-food eatin' (complete with organic vegetable garden and chemical-free lawn, mind you),
animal-rights lovin' ("no gun should ever be turned on an animal"),
midwife-lovin' (again, a supporter on that one...),
assault-weapon controllin' (no civilian needs an assault weapon),
helmet-wearin' (motorcyclists w/o helmets, in addition to staining the pavement, increase insurance rates),
local buyin',
tree-huggin' (although, 'cept for, you know, that murder and all, I found the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior damn near amusing...),
UNITARIAN (AUC, not http://www.uua.org/UUA), for cryin' out loud!

And I am the conservative? Moi?!

Kee-RIST! For the love of D-rwin what has gotten into the FUV (or Prius) drivin', latte-lovin', fat-arsed, lily-livered, so-called liberals? Yah, sure, maybe they donate more $$$ to Greenpeace and MoveOn than I do, maybe they applaud the UN and Bush I's "New World Order," maybe they talk more about diversity and tolerance (from the comfort of Georgetown or Hyannis), but do they actually DO anything anymore?

Hey, JLH, if you ever stumble across this site: I mentioned years ago--and it remains true today--despite your leftist ways, I retain more respect for you and your "I am spending the summer re-building a girl-scout camp"ism than the outrageous "Open and Affirming" self-aggrandizement of my local community (What? Were we draggin' 'em out behind the woodshed an' beatin' 'em afore this here ONA--which I prefer to pronounce as "Onan," although no one ever gets the joke--initiative? And what about those of the Jewish faith? Don't we love them, too? But I digress...).

This world could use a little more hardship, in my opinion. No, I don't want all-out war, but worldwide peace and plenty (at least for the lucky few) seems even more harmful. (Hmm, that get's me right back to the old: why are we here?)

Whew! Now there's a good rant. Thanks, I feel better now.


Mr. Conservative

P.S. Maybe I should move back to MIT, the last community of free-wheelin', free-thinkers I knew--real tolerance there boy-o. Capital "T"Tolerance...

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