More on Lawyers (Yes, I meant it to be read aloud)

From http://boards.boston.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=64&nav=messages&webtag=bc-general&tid=1019,

ExiledbyHVMA wrote:

Men have for centuries (if not millenia) relied on a dedicated and hardworking wife to raise a family while they competed to succeed in their professional careers. Even a strictly 40-hour-per-week job gives little time or flexibility to raise children, especially in a day and age when young children cannot safely play on their own after school at a neighbourhood park.

For family-oriented women to dedicate themselves to, and succeed in, the professions, they need the exact same support at home that men have so long had. They need to demand and expect this from the father of their children.

But how many women are willing to commit themselves to being primary, or sole, breadwinner? How many professional women are actually looking to marry, and start a family with, a man "on the daddy track," someone for whom money and work is less important than raising children and keeping house.

These men exist, by the thousands. But what professional women wants--let alone seeks out--such a partner? How many would genuinely respect a husband willing to take on such a critical--but so long belittled--societal role?

Let's also not forget how hard it would be for such a women to "explain" what her husband does. Would this situation perhaps even cloud her chances for promotion?

We are trapped in our past by a market-driven workplace that rewards singular dedication. There is a way out, but it requires both men and women to reassess and reward the role of "home-maker."We may have to wait another century (or perhaps millenium) before our society can make this leap.- a former, stay-at-home father of two boys

Reply
Posted by anonymous_bosh on 10:41
For family-oriented women to dedicate themselves to, and succeed in, the professions, they need the exact same support at home that men have so long had. They need to demand and expect this from the father of their children.

While your argument makes sense on the face of it, you answer yourself the begged question of why this does not happen (i.e., professional women want professional men). Let me put the question another way: For family-oriented men to dedicate themselves to, and succeed in, childbirth, they need the exact same support that women have so long had. They need to demand and expect this from the other parent of their children."

My point? Demand and expect all you want, but men will not bear children. Similarly--and for whatever reason--women want their offspring to be competitive among children (even if "competitive" is not defined along, e.g., sports or academic lines); in other words, they are seeking competitive genetic material.

How many [professional women] would genuinely respect a husband willing to take on such a critical--but so long belittled--societal role?

Belittled? Belittled by WHOM? Are MEN going around belittling the mothers of their children? Their own mothers? Please direct me to this belittling, for I haven't seen it. So far as I can tell, the stereotypical male view of motherhood is emedded in such phrases as "my mother was a saint." Belittled you say?

We are trapped in our past by a market-driven workplace that rewards singular dedication. There is a way out, but it requires both men and women to reassess and reward the role of "home-maker."

Trapped? Funny, I do not FEEL trapped--nor, apparently, does my full-time wife and mother of and to our children. I asked her last night whether I had "forced her out of the workplace" (as some feminists contend) and whether I was "oppressing her freedom of choice." When she stopped laughing she reminded me to stop reading online boards and to focus on furthering my career in order that she could better provide for the family. She also reminded me that, as a former lawyer, she had written all contracts to her benefit, that I was not getting out of our marriage alive, and that I was darn lucky to be allowed in her very presence, not to mention her bed. Funny thing is, I agree completely.

But before I go looking around for my next promotion and pay increase, I must ask: you, O Tantalus, state "there is a way out," but then fail to elaborate. Perhaps you could rectify the oversight?

Signed,
A proud and grateful contributing member of a successful family unit with a consciously applied but ultimately traditional division of labor enjoying all the current and (so far as one can project) long-term familial and financial satisfaction enabled by such a structure (and who would like to be considered among acquaintances by my stage-name, Nada Weiner).